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Rising Above The Occasion
By Sam | November 21, 2008
Gravity, of late, has been getting me down.
“Let go!” I cry. “I’ve places to be, and they’re not to be found upon the Earth’s firmament.”
“Never!” is the general gist of Gravity’s reply.
“Please?”
“Never!”
“Pretty please?”
“Never!”
“Ugly please?”
“Never!”
“Not traditionally attractive, but nevertheless appealing in an unusual and unique fashion please?”
“Never!”
I’ve tried taking Gravity to court, but when I arrived it was already there, the judge and jury held within its relentless grasp. I considered then approaching NASA and its peers to see if they had any tips, but the world’s various space exploration bodies have refused to speak to me since I taught dogs how to pilot space vehicles to safety and seek revenge upon those who would have left them to die alone amongst the stars. After that I asked Superman to give me a lift, but he just went on and on about my kryptonite tiara, so in the end I gave it to him and went in search of other avenues. Streets and lanes were not ignored either.
At length my options were exhausted, barely able even to crawl into bed, and I was reduced to utilising Cityrail for my escape from Gravity’s tyranny. My train was due to leave over five hours ago. I’m still waiting.
Topics: The Memoirs of Cornelius Gwypp |